Genius
by saffroncremebrulee
Summary: Kaiba ponders the meaning of friendship after the Battle City tournament, as only Kaiba can. One shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own YGO. One-shot, comedic piece this time from Kaiba's POV during Yugi and Joey's post Battle City duel for Joey's red eyed dragon. **

**Unrelated to the Parting/Lights/Nights/Sights series. **

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><p>Kaiba felt like a father at a boy band concert.<p>

Not the resignation of the bored, slightly balding father who accompanied children to concerts to humor his partner. _No._ Kaiba felt like the father who was blackmailed into participating in this atrocity by the combined force of puppy dog eyes, childish hysterics, and the threat of communicating in emoticons for all eternity.

He raged silently at the scene in front of his office.

Two familiar figures circled the stage. One wore enough leather and chains to attract a horde of hungry birds and the other wore the expression of perpetual idiocy he can attribute only to Joey Wheeler. Both wielded silver Kaibacorp duel discs that sparkled as they pranced around like toddlers at a beach made of candy.

_Twerps_, Kaiba thought disdainfully. _Don't they know the Battle City Tournament ended last night?_ _Hadn't Wheeler embarrassed himself enough already_?

_At least this is more entertaining than explaining what "having friends" means to Mokuba._

Kaiba snorted as he remembered his response. "Who needs friends when you have genius?"

"You." Mokuba retorted_. "_What's so wrong with being friends with Yugi and gang? They're really nice."

"I'd have to sacrifice every one of my IQ points and my dignity for that to happen," Kaiba snapped back.

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><p>He surveyed the crowd scornfully as he reaffirmed his decision. There was Tristan Taylor, dopey as always, cheering with a megaphone whenever either of the two made a marginally intelligent move. Even Mokuba knew better than to flip-flop between sides during a competition unless he wanted to completely dishonor his family.<p>

Beside Tristan was Serenity Wheeler, red hair flapping in the wind as she cheered on Joey. She seemed sweet and most definitely smarter than her dimwit brother. Granted, it wasn't that difficult to possess an IQ greater than zero, but Kaiba still couldn't comprehend why she would want to be seen in public with him or admit that they were even related. She might as well as wear a shirt that says "I'm with dofus" everywhere they went.

Beside her, Duke Devlin appeared absolutely brilliant, mainly because he knew better than to open his mouth with inane comments during duels. Kaiba decided Duke wasn't so bad when he was silent... even though he did wear enough eyeliner to rival Mai.

Now Mai...her presence at this charade...Kaiba couldn't compute that phenomenon at all. She was a decent duelist and, more importantly, a cunning strategist. She must be there to scope out the competition's weaknesses, he decided. Otherwise there is simply no sanity left in the world.

And then there was the Gardner girl. No one else in that sad little circus grated on his nerves quite like she did. The constant friendship speeches, the eternal smile, and her uncanny ability to produce more energy than all the windmills in Japan. She even had the nerve to ask him if he's ever had any friends. _Him._ The great Seto Kaiba. Multi-billionaire. Genius. Multiple degrees, patents, and dare he say it, awards for extraordinary hair. All of which he accomplished without any friends, thank you very much, Gardner.

She was now jumping in elation as the duel finished. Evidently Wheeler had borrowed his sister's intelligence for the past twenty minutes, because he had actually won. The circus went wild like a group of pigeons at a bakery.

Kaiba wondered how these people ever got anything done. _Oh wait. They didn't._

Which is why he surprised even himself when he marched out of his his office to congratulate Wheeler, who in all honesty would have preferred to be quarantined with explosives than return his handshake.

Yugi gave him a small, encouraging smile. Tristan, Serenity, Mai, and Duke all grinned.

The Gardner girl displayed her utter disregard for personal safety when she grabbed him for bear hug.

Curiously, he found himself returning it.

_I really have to talk to Mokuba about putting chemicals in my hair gel_.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>


End file.
